And now it's over...
Living the last 25 years vicariously through a million words, taking me through the passage of time, places and seasons has been an experience I shall never forget.
Dan and Vadim, my warriors. You were my pain and my joy and I shall love you forever.
This story, the pleasure and the pain will forever be with me. All of it, every moment, every comrade, lover, friend or foe.
This was just the most emotionally charged, exhilarating, frustrating and heartbreaking adventure. If I ever read anything like this again, I will consider myself the luckiest woman in the world!
From the breathtaking mountains of Afghanistan, the dust of the Dessert in Iraq, to the horror of the Balkans. I have been a slave to this epic story. An almost life changing experience for me. I cannot decide if it was an addiction or an all-consuming absorption or both?
Veterans is a fitting ending, in so much that everything has evolved, and to a point, resolved. There is no longer a physical war to be fought, but there is a war of the minds and internal emotions that has the potential to destroy everything. For me this was the hardest battle of them all.
Dan needs to escape his depression and self loathing and Vadim finally faces his own emotional trauma in a head on brutal fight for his sanity. Both these fights left me raw and desperate for hope again.“You made me human. I stand by that. You made me into somebody I would have wanted to become, if I'd ever thought about what I wanted to be that wasn't about a record or power or a rank or some...delusion I was chasing. If all that was gone and stripped away, the man I am, I am because of what you did, what you made me feel all those years.”
It's not an easy journey for Dan or Vadim. It was never meant to be, it was always going to be a hard won victory to find peace, understanding and acceptance. Love was always there, the binding kind that seemed to conquer it all. That was never the question, was it?
But would it ever be enough? Because it had all been a motherfucking nightmare and the solution was so simple, right there and under their noses. It had just been hidden: Love. Fair and square. Just love.
This book would have been the perfect closure for me, if it hadn't been for certain events in the end. Honestly, I hated those orgy scenes. To me it was an echo of all that was wrong with their relationship for all those years. It had no place in this ending, not for me! None of it made sense, it was ridiculous that we where getting the POV from Beauvais and his new lover. Hooch and Jean!! Made me fume! WTF? I could not believe it!
You see, I think I have come to understand what has happened here. Why I feel the way I do.
The authors have changed the rules.
It's quite simple.
The rules of contemporary romance do not apply here. Certainly not when it comes to sexual faithfulness and exclusivity, and some other things too.
Christ, there are no rules!
My preconceived safe and sane romantic ideals have been beaten into submission with words and actions that defy my very moral and monogamous view of the world. The rules have been deleted and inscribed with a great big 'screw you, put this in your pipe and smoke it, this is what happens in a gay man's world' Now maybe I'm wrong, I don't know many gay men, but that was the message I got.
I would like to say a huge thank you to everybody who held my virtual hand while I read these. Thank you for putting up with my tantrums and foul language, my gifs and my tears! I couldn't have got through it without you. You know who you are, I won't name names cause I scared I'll forget someone. But love to all.
I might not have loved all these books equally, but the series? 5 STARS!!
Thank you to Mr Voinov and Marquesate for giving these books to us for free. I haven't spent a cent of my book budget this month and have decided to donate it to the Red Cross:)